Saturday, July 4, 2015

Buddy Parenting

Back in the days when I was still a kid, still in my years of learning, I happened to be a notorious one. Yes a really notorious one for that matter. With a high temperament, easy fight picker, and one who always used to feature with a bandage on some part of the body. As I might have already told in one of my earlier blogposts, if not this blog, then, my other blog, Metro Greens: Journey of a Plant Lover, that I belong to a defence background. My father was in Army, so, a good amount of my days of growing up got spent inside the Army Cantonment. Though, it was never the same place. As is a tradition in the Defence Forces, soldiers and officers alike, have to move out from one place of duty to another, normally called Posting in the Army. So, I happened to be a rather explorer kind of a thing. More than anything, my unwillingness to stay indoors even in extreme summer months of Jodhpur, was something that invited me trouble at a number of times, and mischiefs at other times.

As evident from one thing peculiar to the Army, a soldier is expected to be self sufficient to see himself through in any situation. No, it's not that the Army leaves the soldiers at their own to take care of themselves, but, being in the Army, you have to do all sorts of works being a Jawan (all the people below Officer Ranks). So, you could see people, and your father among them, cutting and chopping down grass in the Married Acommodation. At times, these people could be seen painting and decorating the surroundings of their offices and even the quarters. The same was visible in the Mess too, and at a number of other places. Something that displays the attitude to be self dependent and complete in oneself. So, my learning days had to be affected by this.

Today, I proudly claim myself to be someone who can cook good enough, and a variety of things. Much of the credit for this goes to my mother, who, used to seek me in the kitchen when she's cooking something. That eventually garnered my interest in knowing what is what and what quantity  of what spices one needs to put in some recipe. The same happened with a number of other things, like my hobby of gardening, which too have its roots in both my parents, since, the quarters allocated to us used to have aplenty space both in front and back of them, so, kitchen gardens were quite prevalent. So, whenever either of my parent worked in the garden, we were expected to be there to see and learn and help. I wasn't a very good kid when it came to being a student, not being a very bright one, though, no one ever had any complaints regarding my behaviour, but academics, in those days used to be the sole indicator of how good a student you are. This was one place which dragged me away from my father and closer to my mother, since he used to be the one who used to make me study and do Maths! No, it's not that my mother didn't pay attention to that aspect, but, being growing up kids, and moreso, when your mother is not that much educated, we used to be what is called SMARTY PANTS. Easily getting ourselves out of situations in front of mothers. But with fathers, it used to be a different ball game. For me, it used to be hard trying to act infront of my father. But then, it was my father who would send me to bed at 9 in the night and wake me up at 5, making me sit in his lap and he himself covered in in the blanket in the winter season and made me remember lessons.

Ah! Those were the days! Growing up, I understood a few things, one including the fact that it is easier to get things done with your kids when you befriend them instead of being authoritative. Authoritarian parents, as we used to see, usually happened to have two kinds of kids. Ones who would become a machine, devoid of any emotions, waiting for the command from the parent to act, and second, the ones who would act like the ideal son or daughter in front of their parents, but at the hindsight, be the worst mischief mongers. So, this was one teaching that I got, among a lot others from my parents. I hope that this teaching will go a long way with me in my life to come up. Buddy Parenting is something that every person should try to inculcate in themselves as a parent, and also teach the same to their kids so that they learn it right from the beginning.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm, I bet you had an absolutely adventurous childhood :D I was more of a chup saitaan :P Outsiders (read my teachers, neighbours and relatives) thought I was the most obedient, disciplined child one could ever find whereas only mummy knew how notorious I could be :D Of course I did all mischiefs only at home and no where else.